Relationships – Page 2 – The Coffey Break

The 5 Love Languages

Hey guys!

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of witnessing a really special exchange. Two of my closest friends happen to be a married couple, and the topic of love languages came up. They proceeded to have a really interesting dialogue going back and forth about their love languages, and more importantly how it plays a role in their relationship. As a single person, it was really fascinating, and one heck of a reminder of how incredibly important communication is. They’ve been together forever, and they still took the time to thoughtfully discuss their sentiments on expressing themselves through their love language and receiving it -even though they’ve known their love languages for quite some time.

Speaking of time, here’s the irony. I was sitting at home one night with one of my roommates and closest friends, and the topic of love languages came up. She didn’t know hers, so I suggested she take the quiz. To my surprise, her love language was words of affirmation. I couldn’t believe it. I had incorrectly assumed all this time that it would have been quality of time; which means I had haphazardly been neglecting a part of her makeup I didn’t even know to be sensitive to. Now get this, I was telling my parents the story and at that moment it occurred to me that I didn’t know theirs either! They both had the same as my roomate, words of affirmation. It was mind blowing.

See the thing about love languages is that whatever love language(s) we have, ties directly into what makes us feel most loved. I know that may sound redundant, but it really is that simple. So whether it’s a family member, co-worker, partner or friend I make it a priority to know their love language (*birthday sign, communication style, motivation style, DISC profile… hahaha jk but seriously) because not being in tune with someone can potentially create unnecessary challenges when we’re operating relationships without a true understanding of how to thoughtfully connect with the people around us.

Below you’ll find the link to The 5 Love Language Quiz. And just FYI, I’m a quality of time, acts of service hybrid. So if we’re kickin it, you better be ready to roll your sleeves up haha Hence Mia’s Closet, and my awesome friends and family who have so graciously supported the vision every step of the way.

Find out your love language and share this post with your friends and family. It’ll knock you off your feet to learn this about yourself and those around you. Enjoy!

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

Let’s connect!

Instagram & Twitter: @thecoffeybreak

About Me: I’m a writer, content creator, futurist and founder of the nonprofit, Mia’s Closet. I love God, and honestly believe that everybody’s just doing the best they can with what they’ve got. Trust the process. The best is yet to come!

Oh! And I have an online store! Haha check us out here: www. TheCoffeyShop.co

Sometimes Things Fall Apart… A Year In Review

A year ago today, my life changed forever. I went on a trip to New York, for Fashion Week with two of my closest friends, and by the end of it, I knew I was in trouble. I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it a million more times: that city is magic to me. We were there just long enough for me to catch my breath and reevaluate, everything.

At the time, I was working for a creative staffing agency as an account executive. This was going to be my big transition from grad school, and second attempt at Corporate America, only this go-round, I would be in the creative industry, so I just knew I’d be fine. I graduated from Grad School in December of 2013, and started working at the company just a couple of months after -the same week as my 27th birthday actually. I was pumped. Salary, benefits, opportunity to make a commission, the whole nine… Instead, it drained the very life out of me. Literally.

My commute was an hour at minimum. The walk from the parking garage to the office was another 15 minutes. We had a meeting that started every day at 8:30am on-the-dot. I’m pleasant in the morning, but I’m a full-blown night owl. My brain doesn’t even kick in until 10am. Don’t ask me why. It’s just my wiring haha For the next 3hrs we had “Power Hour” where we would be on the phone reaching out to ad agencies, corporations, small business and so on developing new business. Power hour ends. We break for lunch at 12pm for an hour -a real hour, not a minute over- and back to the phones unless we had client visits…

Day in, day out this was my life. I hate monotony, with a passion, and that had become my story. My nonprofit, Mia’s Closet, suffered, more than I could have ever anticipated, and it was heartbreaking. I’m not a crier, and I cried a lot that year.

I very quickly realized that I had been sold a dream, and that I was partially responsible. I got that job in an effort to impress my parents. Plain and simple. As much as I like to think I’m a free spirit, I have to be very intentional about not subscribing to traditional means of success, and that’s the thing about understanding your purpose. When you feel you’re moving in the direction that God is calling you to, the opinion’s of other’s mean less and less.

My first day back to work from New York, I requested a meeting with my boss as soon as power hour ended. There we were in that small conference room. I had it all figured out in my mind. I was going to sit down, look her in the face, thank her for everything she’s done, tell her I just couldn’t do it anymore, and politely resign.

Well, somewhere along the way, I started to feel bad, really bad. She had stood up for me, cheered me on, and I felt awful for still wanting to leave after all that. It started to feel just like a break up… and then she asked me if I thought this is where I was supposed to be –I burst into tears and choked out a no.

See, leaving this job was more than just leaving a job. I’m a planner, futurist, and there were so many factors tied into this move being a successful one, and the fact that despite all that, I still couldn’t shake the gut feeling that it just wasn’t working scared me. This was going to be my bridge into being a career woman, buying a house, traveling, saving up to move to a new city, and so on…

My mom, said something to me one day while I was on the phone with her having a full on melty on the way to work that I’ll never forget. She said, “Chelsea, at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live this life, no one else. Life is too short to lead one that makes you miserable.”

More or less that’s the summary of 2014. It was a rebuilding year, and the crazy thing about rebuilding it that you don’t get there without things falling apart.

I’ve spent the last year breaking apart every area of my life asking God to clarify my purpose in all areas. My work, me personally, my calling, spirituality, family roles, all of it. The last year hasn’t been perfect, but I can actually see the progress, and I wouldn’t sacrifice this lifestyle again for anything, even if that means saying no to opportunities I would have jumped at two years ago.

As I sit here on the rooftop having breakfast up here for the first time, I can’t help but think of the following quote: Build your career around your lifestyle, not the other way around. That’s the goal.

I’m praying for any of you guys who want to make the leap, and just haven’t quite figured out how. All things work together for the good of those who have been called according to His purpose.

Just wait and see 😉

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Photos from last year’s trip:

Dream Again

Hey guys!

Hope everyone’s doing well. Every now and then, Pastor Jeremy Foster introduces a series that I just couldn’t be more excited about. Most recently, Under Pressure and Love, Sex, and Marriage had me taking notes and sharing like crazy. As much as I learned from those two, the newest series, Dream Again, is one that I am especially excited about. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up writing a novel, but in short, the title alone froze me in my tracks.

I haven’t vlogged in a really, really long time. Part of that has to do with drastic changes in my lifestyle, the ease of periscope, but more so, I’d say it has to do with the space I’m in. It’s safe to say, that anytime I’m writing over video, it’s because I’m working through some things, and writing always seems to be a solution. I’m a sponge right now, which can be a good thing, but It can also be a bad thing, and my main goal has been to find my center, get organized and move forward with clarity of purpose.

That expression, Dream Again, taps into every area I either hadn’t realized I’d given up on, or didn’t quite know how to articulate:

-Doubts about how I could actually create and support the lifestyle I’ve been believing for. One where I can comfortably work and live from whichever city I please at any point in time.

-Questioning whether or not the man I’ve been believing for could actually exist, and that perhaps if I just maybe lower my standards just a bit. I might find the more “realistic” version of that guy.

-Doubts about my consulting rate. That maybe it would be best to just play it “safe”, build up my clientele, and grow from there.

-Doubts about actually finding a way to be compensated for the work I do with Mia’s Closet, so that I can devote more time to creating unforgettable experiences for our kids.

The list goes on… but all of these doubts amount to settling for less than God’s best.

Today, I hit the reset button. There was verse in particular that stopped me in my tracks:

10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. – John 10:10

Pastor Jeremy then went on to say, “If God can do more than you can imagine, why aren’t you imagining bigger?”

I’ve heard a constant theme over the last few years, and it makes perfect sense. If a goal/dream/vision is perfectly tangible, why would we need God to convene? More importantly, how would it be a test of our faith?

I am the queen of tangibles. I like to have control. I like to know the plan. I like to be able to choose whether or not to act on the plan haha Which means I’m somewhere along the lines of a militant butterfly, but the key is that I like to know, and for the first time, in a really long time, if ever, I asked God to show me if the dreams I’ve been believing for aren’t the dreams He has for me.

Clarity of purpose is all I’m asking for at this point because, “When your dream is dead, God’s dream can live, and when you’re living for him, it doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life.” -Jeremy Foster.

That’s not to say that my dreams are invalid, but it puts me in position to release the reigns and embrace His calling –wherever that might lead *Easier said than done. Baby steps, right? 🙂

Somehow, I was so caught up, that I started this post fully confident that I had taken the BEST notes. The truth is, I didn’t, and you’d probably just be better off watching the sermon yourself haha

I hope it speaks to you guys just as strongly, if not stronger, than it did to me. Praying for you! We’re on this journey together, and it’s a beautiful thing. Thanks for being along for the ride.

Peace, Love & Sunshine, Chels