Marriage – The Coffey Break

Let’s Talk

Change happens when the pain of holding on becomes greater than the fear of letting go.

There’s something to be said about that shift. Believe in the beauty of your dreams. The ones you can’t shake. The ones that keep you up at night. It’s no coincidence to feel something so strongly within you. Each and every one of us has a calling for our lives. It’s God’s gift to us.

Many of us spend our earliest years building our lives within the preset boundaries of family and school, and as a grad student, I had that same structure well into my 20’s.

Now that I’ve been out of school for a while, I’ve come to realize one very important thing, there’s no curriculum for being an adult. You may have a great job, be married, starting a family, chasing your dreams haha and still feel out of touch, lost, or worse, like you’re just living.

That’s where I come in. I’m developing a program and compiling a set of srvices (It’s going to be awesome!) for all the people /like me/ who know the potential for greatness is there, they just need a game plan, a community, and a curriculum for navigating this journey of adulthood.

Now, before we even get into any sentiments of entrepreneurial pursuits or any other major shifts just yet, I want to be very clear, my focus for this program is strictly dedicated to personal development and building a strong foundation.

I genuinely believe that clarity of self provides the keys to the very doors we’re hoping to have revealed to us. I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life trying to fit into a space where I simply didn’t belong. It just hit me one day, of course I’ve only seen glimpses of the success I see for myself. I’ve been trying to fit my square peg self into all the cookie cutter holes that simply weren’t designed for me.

And that’s the beauty of self-exploration and taking the time to understand the value you bring to the table.

You may have the best business idea, be happy at your job, in your relationships, and so on, and still feel like somethings off.

Let’s dig a little?

*And before I roll out these questions ask yourself each question, twice. We have a tendency to endear towards an ideal of ourselves or simply be too hard on ourselves.

Ready?

What is your perception of yourself? Are you confident about your strengths? Do you feel you communicate effectively with your friends and loved ones? Are you in tune with your weaknesses? Your triggers? What impressions are you making on other people? Are you social? Are you an introvert? Both? Do you feel as if there’s a disconnect between what you’re doing and what you wish you could be doing?
What if I told you that I guarantee that there are blind spots, and that those blind spots could possibly be causing you to operate beneath your full potential.

There’s no curriculum for being an adult, and that’s where I come in. As a futurist, I’m here to help. There is a field of Futures Studies (my grad degree) dedicated exclusively to Personal Futures (To be clear, this a multidisciplinary forecasting program, not fortune telling.) and Personal Futures was my concentration (major).

The process I’m putting together includes three parts: Exploration, Clarification, & Metrics for Success. Some of us excel quite naturally and do best going with the flow, while others (a free spirited individual such as myself for example haha) benefit from a predetermined framework to help us identify our vision and stay on track.

I’ve looked for a consultant like this for years, me I’ve finally come to the conclusion that this may simply be God’s calling for me. My very own niche, and that this is the only route that could have gotten me here to be a resource everyone out there who can relate.

Whatever the motivation, it’s essential to know that resources are there to better understand yourself, improve your relationships, and work smarter. You just have to tap into them.

Feel free to DM me to learn more about my consulting services or book an appointment 🙏🏾💞✨

#thebestisyettocome
Xoxo -Chels

let’s connect?

ig/twitter: @thecoffeybreak

Twenty-Nine

So, yesterday I had a mini-melty. Life is funny. About six months ago, I made a mental note that I had 6 months until my 29th birthday. I failed to continue to add an additional month as time progressed. So essentially, I’ve been walking around thinking to myself that I have 6 months until my 29th birthday. Right up until yesterday, when it actually hit me.

I don’t have six months. I’m right right inside of one month. And I’ve spent the last 24hrs. trying to figure out how I feel about that. On the one hand, it will be a blessing to see another year. On the other hand, 29 is a totally loaded year for me.

To say the least, I spent the earlier part of my twenties assuming that I would be married by 28, so my vision of the time period was built around my future family (even if that was just me and my husband) in a very abstract way. See the theme here?

So there’s this whole idea that people don’t plan to fail, it’s that they fail to plan, and I guess my retort for that is where does God fit into all that?

See in theory, yes, I could have had a plan. A freaking air tight, knock their socks off kind of plan, professionally, personally, spiritually and so on. But, there’s still the reality of God’s good and perfect plan. A plan that may not add up to the timeline you or I have preset. So I ask, how does it all work? lol

I’d love for this to be a post that was the reflection of some incredible breakthrough, but the truth is that I’m literally going along for God’s ride at this point, and if nothing else, I can honestly say that that has been the most beneficial change in mindset I’ve had up until now.

That’s not to say that I don’t still have a vision of what a happy life looks like or that I haven’t set goals for myself. It’s just that it’s exhausting trying to figure out the answers to questions that maybe aren’t meant to be answered yet.

Picture your season of whatever it is you’re waiting for as a college course. You go to class two times a week. You receive a lecture, projects, etc. from the professor and then midway or at the end of the semester you have exams.

The only thing that matters more than showing up for the exam, is the preparation that goes into, right? If you never read the syllabus, never went to class, never exchanged ideas with fellow classmates, showing up for the exam would almost be a waste of time –short of luck and favor, and trust me, I’ve been the beneficiary of both on many occasions haha

Nonetheless, that concept of the course is the root behind my overall outlook these days. The professor does not consult with the students about the syllabus prior to putting it together. They just do it, and if they decide to make a change to the curriculum there’s a high probability that once again the class will be informed of the change and expected to abide accordingly.

People always say be careful what you ask for, and I think it’s for good reason. What if you got that awesome opportunity, or met that once in a lifetime person prematurely? It creates a bit of a pipe dream, but there might be something to be said about trusting that everything is working together for the good of God’s timing, even if the reality of it may frecken’ suck.

That job, significant other, breakthrough, or whatever, may be the equivalent of the professor standing up in front of everyone the second week of class to announce that you all would be taking the final exam that day. (God forbid. GOD FAHBID! *northeastern mom accent haha)

Anyway, the trigger behind this was my melty, but this post has been brewing for quite sometime. I just wasn’t really ready to talk about it, openly haha The best is yet to come. If you can relate, I’m sending my love your way! Hang in there!

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Dream Again

Hey guys!

Hope everyone’s doing well. Every now and then, Pastor Jeremy Foster introduces a series that I just couldn’t be more excited about. Most recently, Under Pressure and Love, Sex, and Marriage had me taking notes and sharing like crazy. As much as I learned from those two, the newest series, Dream Again, is one that I am especially excited about. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up writing a novel, but in short, the title alone froze me in my tracks.

I haven’t vlogged in a really, really long time. Part of that has to do with drastic changes in my lifestyle, the ease of periscope, but more so, I’d say it has to do with the space I’m in. It’s safe to say, that anytime I’m writing over video, it’s because I’m working through some things, and writing always seems to be a solution. I’m a sponge right now, which can be a good thing, but It can also be a bad thing, and my main goal has been to find my center, get organized and move forward with clarity of purpose.

That expression, Dream Again, taps into every area I either hadn’t realized I’d given up on, or didn’t quite know how to articulate:

-Doubts about how I could actually create and support the lifestyle I’ve been believing for. One where I can comfortably work and live from whichever city I please at any point in time.

-Questioning whether or not the man I’ve been believing for could actually exist, and that perhaps if I just maybe lower my standards just a bit. I might find the more “realistic” version of that guy.

-Doubts about my consulting rate. That maybe it would be best to just play it “safe”, build up my clientele, and grow from there.

-Doubts about actually finding a way to be compensated for the work I do with Mia’s Closet, so that I can devote more time to creating unforgettable experiences for our kids.

The list goes on… but all of these doubts amount to settling for less than God’s best.

Today, I hit the reset button. There was verse in particular that stopped me in my tracks:

10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. – John 10:10

Pastor Jeremy then went on to say, “If God can do more than you can imagine, why aren’t you imagining bigger?”

I’ve heard a constant theme over the last few years, and it makes perfect sense. If a goal/dream/vision is perfectly tangible, why would we need God to convene? More importantly, how would it be a test of our faith?

I am the queen of tangibles. I like to have control. I like to know the plan. I like to be able to choose whether or not to act on the plan haha Which means I’m somewhere along the lines of a militant butterfly, but the key is that I like to know, and for the first time, in a really long time, if ever, I asked God to show me if the dreams I’ve been believing for aren’t the dreams He has for me.

Clarity of purpose is all I’m asking for at this point because, “When your dream is dead, God’s dream can live, and when you’re living for him, it doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life.” -Jeremy Foster.

That’s not to say that my dreams are invalid, but it puts me in position to release the reigns and embrace His calling –wherever that might lead *Easier said than done. Baby steps, right? 🙂

Somehow, I was so caught up, that I started this post fully confident that I had taken the BEST notes. The truth is, I didn’t, and you’d probably just be better off watching the sermon yourself haha

I hope it speaks to you guys just as strongly, if not stronger, than it did to me. Praying for you! We’re on this journey together, and it’s a beautiful thing. Thanks for being along for the ride.

Peace, Love & Sunshine, Chels