So, today is extra special because it is New Year’s Eve!! As I prepare for the future of my business endeavors, I realize that it is just as important to be preparing myself mentally and clean house both spiritually and emotionally going into 2015.
To say the least, I’m a little sensitive. Okay okay, more like a lot, and I’m okay with that. The key is that I’ve recognized that my little feeling get hurt easily, it’s no good to be aware of trait without being proactive about how to manage it. Some call it sensitivity, some call it a spirit, but all I know is that there are a lot people are walking around carrying the offenses of what others have done to them.
These last two years have shared a few highs and some of the lowest lows, so I really wanted to dig internally to run a scan to check for any old emotional baggage, and get rid of that chit! It’s a new season and God is moving. Join me as I walk through how I’m pushing past the spirit of offense and to live my best life. Wishing you all the best in this new year! Enjoy!
So this week I wanted to take the time to dive into a few fun ways to layer fall and winter looks. The outfits I chose were also the outfits I wore during Fashion Houston this year. *Well, at least for the most part 😉
We all know what it’s like to feel out of place at times, and for me personally, I have to admit that the way I feel I look directly correlates with how I carry myself, so I’m thoughtful about the pieces I pull whether I’m all the way dressed down or glitz and glam. Join me for a tip or two on how I’ve managed to manage this and rise to the occasion feeling fab!
As always, please don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments section if there is a specific What To Wear Coffey Break Chat you’d like to see. I’m thinking along the lines of classic wardrobe staples, date night looks, outfits for the office and so on… Thanks again for watching! Enjoy!
Today’s video is all about boundaries…or the lack thereof haha Although I’m fully convinced of their importance, I still find myself struggling with the best methods to not only identify areas where I need them, but most importantly ways to commit to them once they’ve been identified.
I love the idea of having a support system and accountability partners, but I’m also convinced that people feed off the energy you put out. We might have the best intentions, but without an ongoing commitment, it’s difficult to honor those boundaries, and we definitely shouldn’t expect others to respect our boundaries more than we do.
Having said that, I figured it was definitely time to do a little research on the best place to start with setting boundaries, and here’s what I got!
Enjoy!
Recap:
1. Know What You Want
Make a list of what you want, but don’t have yet, in different areas of your life. Be sure to include work life, home life, relationships, health, finances, spiritual path and any other areas that are important to you.
2. Set standards
Make a list of what you will never tolerate again in your life, and pray what you want into your life. We aren’t in this alone. Be intentional about asking God to literally remove the taste for whatever damaging traits, relationships, habits, etc. that you find yourself dealing with, and that it would be so easy to identify that it literally repels you when you come face to face with it.
Have a escape strategy already put in place. We all know aggressive people, have been in sticky situations, the list goes on… The best defense is being prepared for when those situations arise.
3. Don’t assume
Your true boundaries may not offend people. A lot of times perception beats reality in our minds. Don’t make things harder than they have to be by assuming. Communication is everything, and it’s really important to manage expectations. I’d rather have an honest moment than a resentful passive aggressive interaction any day.
4. Start small
Establishing boundaries doesn’t mean you have come out kicking the door down. Be okay with starting out with asserting yourself with scenarios that are less intimidating. This will be a great way to build the confidence, and it’s also a great way to see that it’s not the end of the world if you simply can’t do whatever.
5. Be short and confident in your “no.”
When you feel bad or uncertain about saying no, it makes the situation awkward for everyone. People respond to the vibes we send out. Be intentional about the tone you set. Assertiveness is also best in situations like this. If you’re still uncomfortable, the best time to give it a go isn’t in front of the person haha Role play it! Sit down with someone who loves you enough to take the time to do it right and practice until you get it.
6. Don’t apologize.
This is my new mission: Stop apologizing! You haven’t done anything wrong, and it’s not a bad thing if you’re unavailable. If there’s an opportunity to say yes to another time, offer it and keep it moving.
7. Trust your body.
If something makes your heart start to race, head itch or turn your stomach into knots, you should probably say no to the request. If you feel light and free when considering it, then definitely say yes. Learn how to recognize your own internal signals and find a way to push past the pressure that others put on you.
8. Commit Commit to your Standards Commit to your Why
Remember at the end of the day, every time we say no to one thing, we’re saying yes to something else -regardless of whether or not it’s intentional. We’ve been called to live out beautiful purpose filled lives and boundaries help us honor that.
Feel free to visit here and here for the inspiration behind my list.
So, I’ve sat down twice now to start recording a Coffey Break Chat about this topic, and after two failed attempts, I came to the realization that there’s a pattern when it comes to the content I write about and the content I vlog about. For whatever reason, when it comes to a topic that I’m still mulling over, I sort through the thick of it by spilling it all out in written form, which turned into a very long reflection. So, I just went ahead and recorded the video. The original title for this post was: Benchmarking, Social Media & Self-Doubt, only to realize that what’s really going is Keeping Up With The Joneses at its best. To say the least, it took me stepping completely out of my comfort zone to record this video, but the first step is aknowledging that you have a problem haha And hopefully this will be a source of encouragement and clarity to anyone who can relate 🙂
This week’s Coffey Break Chat features an awesome panel of special guests: Keagan Harley, Olaide Sanusi, Nina Harrison , Jeffrey Idehen, Tobe Nwigwe, Oluwaseto Abidakun, Marquez Fleming, Janae Ladet, Temia Balogun, Shamusi Balogun discussing the present reality of relationships. Our conversation covers the following topics, red flags vs. flexibility, girlfriend material vs. wife material, and the most important question to ask yourself if you’re in a relationship.
Feel free to leave comments and questions below. Thanks again for watching! Enjoy!
