Fashion Blogger – Page 4 – The Coffey Break

Coffey Break Chat: The 5 Simple Rules to Showing Love

Hey guys!

This week’s Coffey Break Chat touches on a topic that has come up a million and one times over the last 4-5 years, online engagement. The original title for the post was 5 simple ways to show love without coming off like a fan… groupie, etc.

And this is something that I attribute especially to the digital space. There are conversations I have in person or via text that I express differently online, and what I’ve come to realize is that every time I do that, I’m essentially watering down the beauty of a sincere moment by overthinking my response.

One day, I rolled my eyes after spending more time than I’d like to admit overthinking the right response, and I was just over it. I said to myself that from there on out, I’d choose to respond, comment, post and show love as authentically as possible. It’s a good thing haha

I pulled the following quote from Show Your Work and serves as the inspiration behind this post:

“If you want fans, you have to be a fan first. If you want to be accepted by a community, you have to first be a good citizen of that community. If you’re only pointing to your own stuff online, you’re doing it wrong. You have to be a connector. The writer Blake Butler calls this being an open node. If you want to get, you have to give. If you want to be noticed, you have to notice. Shut up and listen once in a while. Be thoughtful. Be considerate. Don’t turn into human spam. Be an open node.”

Encouragement is all about empowering whoever those kind words are intended for. Enough with the cool antics. I’m too old for that. Life can be tough, and the world could use a lot more a lot more cheerleaders.

Nonetheless, there’s a sweet spot for just about everything.

Check out my video blog below on 5 Simple Rules to Showing Love:

Be sincere
Have or get your chit together
Be intentional about keeping an eye out for opportunities that benefit more than just you
Establish boundaries
Stop worrying about what other people might think

Have a great weekend guys!

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chelsea

Everything Else Is Secondary

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. -Steve Jobs

^Fredis and my’s conversation from yesterday in a nutshell. There’s something so beautiful about the realization that you’ve totally lost track of the, “Oh my gosh! I feel the exact same, way!!” moments.

Book @fredis_b. He’s a magician with the camera Xoxo -Chels
#Chelseainthecity315
#StyleDiaries #TheCoffeyBreak

Sunday Share: Growing Up With Miss Jamaica

Hey guys,

Happy Sunday! Elle Magazine never seems to disappoint, and short of slipping into a rabbit hole, I wanted to share a great read that dropped into my inbox this afternoon.

Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about colorism, and more importantly, its crippling affects on so many cultures and ethnic groups. Just in case:

Colorism, noun: discrimination against a person of color due to the european standard of beauty (e.g., light skin, thin lips, loosely coiled hair). this condition is most frequently present between those of the same race.

How awesome would it be if we could simply embrace the beauty of our differences and teach our kids to love themselves just as they are from the beginning? This is a huge mission of mine as it relates to the work we do with Mia’s Closet. There’s not substitute for the empowerment that comes with feeling good about yourself. Link to the original article below:

Growing Up With Miss Jamaica

It took me years to undo the sense that lighter skin was more beautiful.

In an effort to keep from assuming that this topic is common knowledge, I’ve added a couple of doll test videos to further convey the importance of spreading the word about this topic. So much love to everyone who’s contributing to the conversation of raising awareness about this issue.

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Kiri Davis: A Girl Like Me. [black doll / white doll experiment …

Doll Test – YouTube

Let’s Connect! IG + Twitter: @thecoffeybreak

Comparison: Jesus Calling 2/28

Good morning guys!

Every now and then I come across a Jesus Calling devotional that moves me enough to share it here on The Coffey Break. The words below are so incredibly powerful. Comparison is the thief of joy. Protect your peace. 🙏🏾❤️☀️ ~Chels

—

2.28.16

Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless.

Don’t look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love. Many believers perceive Me as an unpleasable Judge, angrily searching out their faults and failures. Nothing could be farther from the truth! I died for your sins, so that I might clothe you in My garments of salvation. This is how I see you: radiant in My robe of righteousness. When I discipline you, it is never in anger or disgust; it is to prepare you for face-to-Face fellowship with me throughout all eternity. Immerse yourself in My loving Presence. Be receptive to My affirmation, which flows continually from the throne of grace.

Photo by photographer extraordinaire, Unique James of compozition.org
Let’s connect: IG + Twitter @thecoffeybreak

“Why I only draw Black Women.”

I don’t even have the words to fully express how and why I love the excerpt shared by @nikisgroove on why she only draws Black women so very much. In a society where, for some, even the best compliment stems from a limited, and quite frankly, a$$ backwards perception of black beauty and culture (*from our own even at times) it’s no responsibility of anyone but ourselves to #SAYITLOUD, share our experiences, and celebrate the beauty of being Black. Full narrative below. Enjoy! Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Why I only draw Black women
Inspired by
Why I’m Absolutely an Angry Black Woman

Because when I was five, my kindergarten classmate told me I couldn’t be the princess in the game we were playing because black girls couldn’t be princesses. Because I was in third grade the first time a teacher seemed shocked at how “well-spoken” I was. Because in fourth grade I was told my crush didn’t like black girls. Because in sixth grade a different crush told me I was pretty — for a black girl. Because in 7th grade my predominantly black suburban neighborhood was nicknamed “Spring Ghettos” instead of calling it its name (Spring Meadows).

Because I was in 8th grade the first time I was called an Oreo and told that I “wasn’t really black” like it was a compliment.
Because in 9th grade when I switched schools a boy told me he knew I had to be mixed with something to be so pretty. Because in 10th grade my group of friends and I were called into an office and asked if we were a gang, or if we had father figures.

Because in 11th grade my AP English teacher told me that I didn’t write like a college-bound student (though I later scored perfectly on the exam). Because when I volunteered in Costa Rica that summer, I was whistled at and called Negrita. Because when I asked my host father if that was like being called nigger, he said, no, it was a compliment because black women are perceived to be very good in bed. Because I was a kid. Because I watched from the bleachers while the school resource officer didn’t let my brother into a football game after mistaking him for another black boy who was banned. Because the school resource officer maced him for insisting he was wrong. Because I was suspended for telling the school resource officer he didn’t deserve respect. Because my senior year boyfriend said nigger.

Because I was one of two black girls in the freshman class at my college. Because at meetings to talk about how to attract more black students, someone suggested that the school attracted a certain demographic (sustainable living, farming, general hippiness) and that maybe black people “just weren’t interested in things like that.” www.thsppl.com by Dominique Matti