The Coffey Break – Page 8

Sunday Share: Growing Up With Miss Jamaica

Hey guys,

Happy Sunday! Elle Magazine never seems to disappoint, and short of slipping into a rabbit hole, I wanted to share a great read that dropped into my inbox this afternoon.

Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about colorism, and more importantly, its crippling affects on so many cultures and ethnic groups. Just in case:

Colorism, noun: discrimination against a person of color due to the european standard of beauty (e.g., light skin, thin lips, loosely coiled hair). this condition is most frequently present between those of the same race.

How awesome would it be if we could simply embrace the beauty of our differences and teach our kids to love themselves just as they are from the beginning? This is a huge mission of mine as it relates to the work we do with Mia’s Closet. There’s not substitute for the empowerment that comes with feeling good about yourself. Link to the original article below:

Growing Up With Miss Jamaica

It took me years to undo the sense that lighter skin was more beautiful.

In an effort to keep from assuming that this topic is common knowledge, I’ve added a couple of doll test videos to further convey the importance of spreading the word about this topic. So much love to everyone who’s contributing to the conversation of raising awareness about this issue.

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Kiri Davis: A Girl Like Me. [black doll / white doll experiment …

Doll Test – YouTube

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Comparison: Jesus Calling 2/28

Good morning guys!

Every now and then I come across a Jesus Calling devotional that moves me enough to share it here on The Coffey Break. The words below are so incredibly powerful. Comparison is the thief of joy. Protect your peace. 🙏🏾❤️☀️ ~Chels

—

2.28.16

Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role. Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people. This produces feelings of pride or inferiority; sometimes, a mixture of both. I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made for him or her. Comparing is not only wrong; it is also meaningless.

Don’t look for affirmation in the wrong places: your own evaluations, or those of other people. The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional Love. Many believers perceive Me as an unpleasable Judge, angrily searching out their faults and failures. Nothing could be farther from the truth! I died for your sins, so that I might clothe you in My garments of salvation. This is how I see you: radiant in My robe of righteousness. When I discipline you, it is never in anger or disgust; it is to prepare you for face-to-Face fellowship with me throughout all eternity. Immerse yourself in My loving Presence. Be receptive to My affirmation, which flows continually from the throne of grace.

Photo by photographer extraordinaire, Unique James of compozition.org
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“Why I only draw Black Women.”

I don’t even have the words to fully express how and why I love the excerpt shared by @nikisgroove on why she only draws Black women so very much. In a society where, for some, even the best compliment stems from a limited, and quite frankly, a$$ backwards perception of black beauty and culture (*from our own even at times) it’s no responsibility of anyone but ourselves to #SAYITLOUD, share our experiences, and celebrate the beauty of being Black. Full narrative below. Enjoy! Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Why I only draw Black women
Inspired by
Why I’m Absolutely an Angry Black Woman

Because when I was five, my kindergarten classmate told me I couldn’t be the princess in the game we were playing because black girls couldn’t be princesses. Because I was in third grade the first time a teacher seemed shocked at how “well-spoken” I was. Because in fourth grade I was told my crush didn’t like black girls. Because in sixth grade a different crush told me I was pretty — for a black girl. Because in 7th grade my predominantly black suburban neighborhood was nicknamed “Spring Ghettos” instead of calling it its name (Spring Meadows).

Because I was in 8th grade the first time I was called an Oreo and told that I “wasn’t really black” like it was a compliment.
Because in 9th grade when I switched schools a boy told me he knew I had to be mixed with something to be so pretty. Because in 10th grade my group of friends and I were called into an office and asked if we were a gang, or if we had father figures.

Because in 11th grade my AP English teacher told me that I didn’t write like a college-bound student (though I later scored perfectly on the exam). Because when I volunteered in Costa Rica that summer, I was whistled at and called Negrita. Because when I asked my host father if that was like being called nigger, he said, no, it was a compliment because black women are perceived to be very good in bed. Because I was a kid. Because I watched from the bleachers while the school resource officer didn’t let my brother into a football game after mistaking him for another black boy who was banned. Because the school resource officer maced him for insisting he was wrong. Because I was suspended for telling the school resource officer he didn’t deserve respect. Because my senior year boyfriend said nigger.

Because I was one of two black girls in the freshman class at my college. Because at meetings to talk about how to attract more black students, someone suggested that the school attracted a certain demographic (sustainable living, farming, general hippiness) and that maybe black people “just weren’t interested in things like that.” www.thsppl.com by Dominique Matti

Twenty-Nine

So, yesterday I had a mini-melty. Life is funny. About six months ago, I made a mental note that I had 6 months until my 29th birthday. I failed to continue to add an additional month as time progressed. So essentially, I’ve been walking around thinking to myself that I have 6 months until my 29th birthday. Right up until yesterday, when it actually hit me.

I don’t have six months. I’m right right inside of one month. And I’ve spent the last 24hrs. trying to figure out how I feel about that. On the one hand, it will be a blessing to see another year. On the other hand, 29 is a totally loaded year for me.

To say the least, I spent the earlier part of my twenties assuming that I would be married by 28, so my vision of the time period was built around my future family (even if that was just me and my husband) in a very abstract way. See the theme here?

So there’s this whole idea that people don’t plan to fail, it’s that they fail to plan, and I guess my retort for that is where does God fit into all that?

See in theory, yes, I could have had a plan. A freaking air tight, knock their socks off kind of plan, professionally, personally, spiritually and so on. But, there’s still the reality of God’s good and perfect plan. A plan that may not add up to the timeline you or I have preset. So I ask, how does it all work? lol

I’d love for this to be a post that was the reflection of some incredible breakthrough, but the truth is that I’m literally going along for God’s ride at this point, and if nothing else, I can honestly say that that has been the most beneficial change in mindset I’ve had up until now.

That’s not to say that I don’t still have a vision of what a happy life looks like or that I haven’t set goals for myself. It’s just that it’s exhausting trying to figure out the answers to questions that maybe aren’t meant to be answered yet.

Picture your season of whatever it is you’re waiting for as a college course. You go to class two times a week. You receive a lecture, projects, etc. from the professor and then midway or at the end of the semester you have exams.

The only thing that matters more than showing up for the exam, is the preparation that goes into, right? If you never read the syllabus, never went to class, never exchanged ideas with fellow classmates, showing up for the exam would almost be a waste of time –short of luck and favor, and trust me, I’ve been the beneficiary of both on many occasions haha

Nonetheless, that concept of the course is the root behind my overall outlook these days. The professor does not consult with the students about the syllabus prior to putting it together. They just do it, and if they decide to make a change to the curriculum there’s a high probability that once again the class will be informed of the change and expected to abide accordingly.

People always say be careful what you ask for, and I think it’s for good reason. What if you got that awesome opportunity, or met that once in a lifetime person prematurely? It creates a bit of a pipe dream, but there might be something to be said about trusting that everything is working together for the good of God’s timing, even if the reality of it may frecken’ suck.

That job, significant other, breakthrough, or whatever, may be the equivalent of the professor standing up in front of everyone the second week of class to announce that you all would be taking the final exam that day. (God forbid. GOD FAHBID! *northeastern mom accent haha)

Anyway, the trigger behind this was my melty, but this post has been brewing for quite sometime. I just wasn’t really ready to talk about it, openly haha The best is yet to come. If you can relate, I’m sending my love your way! Hang in there!

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels

Residue, 2015 Refelction

Hey guys!

HAPPY 2016!!

What a year 2015 was…

I could on forever, but honestly, I just don’t have the words yet. It’s interesting, the concept of the new year. As much as I try to fight it, it’s as if there’s this assumed sense of a grand closing of a chapter and doors flying open to a new beginning. If there’s anything the last three years have taught me, it’s that seasons are not necessarily determined by the confines of a year. So, I think it’s safest to say that I’ll be floating for a while -not aimlessly, it’s just that I’ve finally come to a place where I’m willing to yield my next steps, no matter how big or small, to wherever God’s calling me.

The guest pastor at my church, Hope City, shared a pretty awesome reference with us last week and it has stayed with me over these last few days:

Don’t carry the residue of where you’ve been into your new season. – @degroves

He then went on to explain about how in biblical times being told to take off your shoes by a superior was a sign that a promotion was coming, and how God told Moses to take off his shoes before calling him into his purpose.

I love that analogy because I would dare to say that we’re not always aware of the residue we’re tracking around. Some residue may be more obvious, like a really bad relationship or destructive behaviors. Others may be more subtle, like a bad attitude or emotional baggage that we just can’t seem to shake. Regardless of whatever our residue is, the simple truth is that we’re all carrying something, and that’s why I love that he offered such a literal description of God bringing us into a new season.

I’ve seen a ton of posts talking about leaving negative energy, people and so on behind as we approached the new year, and I think it’s especially important to do a climate check and scan, well, everything.

Kicking off those old shoes and leaving behind any residue that doesn’t compliment God’s calling requires a whole other level of faith.

As hard as it might be, I just want to encourage you guys, and myself, to keep your eyes on Him and trust the path He has us on.

Have a great night you guys!

Peace, Love & Sunshine ~Chels