Commitments Shape Your Life

Commitments Shape Your Life

My wonderful father shared the devotional below with my family via email. The following quote really moved me, “Tell me what you’re committed to and I’ll tell you what you’ll be in twenty years. We become whatever we’re committed to.” Life is a funny thing to say the least, and as I look back over the last year I see how the commitments I’ve made are shaping my future. Sometimes the biggest lessons stem from a loss and manifest into wonderful blessings once you decide what really matters and choose the life you will live.

God blessed me with a vision to get clothing to underprivileged children and that epiphany blossomed into Mia’s Closet Mia’s Closet has experienced exponential growth, and we have provided over a thousand children with clothing, mentors and sports activities over the last  year. I have finally realized my goal of working as an image and personal branding consultant, and I have been an all around better family member and friend. None of these things happened over night. It was a conscious decision to take control over the things I have control of and run with it!



God is real, and you’ve just got to have faith that his favor is working through you! Putting all personal ambitions aside, the most important commitment I made this year was devoted to my spiritual walk. About a year and a half ago, my dad told me, “I don’t care what church you go to, but you have to go somewhere. The Lord deserves your devotion and you need to fellowship with other believers.”  All I could do is say, “Ok” because I knew he was right. So I started praying about it -really hard- and the Lord answered my prayers in a bigger and better way than I could have ever imagined! I found The429! The ironic thing is that I have a friend from my parent’s church who had been inviting me for about a year, and I never got around to going…little did I know! I’ve finally found a church home that operates on a level like I’ve never seen before. Pastor Jeremy Foster delivers a message backed by scripture (and he’s so, so funny!), praise and worship is awesome and the members are sold out on serving the community!  

Chose to commit to the people, relationships and goals that add value to your life.  God is all about ordering our steps. He will even send us someone to help us get there. You just have to be ready and willing. Step out on faith and meet Him halfway! Your blessing is on the horizon!

Enjoy!

You don’t have to understand all the implications of your decision when you choose to follow Jesus. You simply need to respond to his invitation, to make a commitment to follow Christ. Your commitments shape you life more than anything else. Your commitments can develop you or they can destroy you, but either way, they will define you. Tell me what you’re committed to and I’ll tell you what you’ll be in twenty years. We become whatever we’re committed to. It is at this very point of commitment that most people miss God’s purpose for their lives. Many are afraid to commit to anything and just drift through life. Others make half-hearted commitments to competing values, which lead to frustration and mediocrity. Others make a full commitment to worldly goals, such as becoming wealthy or famous, and end up disappointed and bitter. Every choice has eternal consequences so you need to choose wisely: “Since everything around us is going to melt away, what holy, godly lives you should be living!” (2 Peter 3:11 LB) Christlikeness comes from making Christlike commitments.

The Reality Check: Mainstream Black Music & American Youth

The Reality Check: Mainstream Black music and American Youth

by: Chelsea Coffey

–At the expense of sounding off like a momma, I’d like to tackle a topic that is burning through my mind. A friend of mine tweeted a Shai song the other day, and when I finally got around to looking at it, I found myself watching another one of their videos -Baby I’m Yours:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=3iOQ3RWngIM]
 
 The truth is, I kind of melted as I watched the video. The song’s a little corny, but the interaction between the singers and their leading ladies was actually something to be desired. The video is about 20 years old, and I couldn’t help but feel disheartened seeing it. For starters the guys look like regular people you see in real life, no glitz or glam, and the same can be said about the women. It was almost a novelty to see a video where the women were not there to simply serve as a side-chick dressed like a stripper.  To really put things in perspective, the four leading ladies weren’t wearing weaves –none of them. They actually had roles in the video, and most importantly the men showed them respect.
 Trust me, I get it. Each generation has a certain sense of nostalgia for the music they grew up liste ning to, but in the case of the transition we’ve seen over the last 20 years in R&B, we’ve witnessed more than a change in audio format and dress. The “Black Music” genre has seen a considerable shift in everything from the messages, to the videos, to the attitude towards women.
In an effort to evaluate my emotions against logic, I sincerely tried to think of one recent popular video or song from the R&B or Rap music genres that didn’t require some degree of filtering. The reality is that it seems that the majority of mainstream R&B singers and rappers lack the sense of accountability that was displayed by previous generations. Point blank.
Maybe it’s a moral issue on the part of artists, maybe it’s an ethical issue on the part of record labels, maybe it stems from the “disappearing Black family”…whatever the case may be, the impact hurts our future generation’s perception of “Black Music”, especially as it relates to women and how they should be treated. My sensitivity to this issue isn’t so much that women are spoken of in a derogatory way, because the truth is some women are bitches or sluts or whatever -sorry- shoulder shrug.
What bothers me is that it seems to penetrate all aspects of Black Music played by radio stations, at clubs, on commercials, etc. Whether it is a female rapper bashing other women and declaring her sexual prowess in a sleazy way, men talking about how many women he’s going to run through, drug use, alcohol abuse; the list goes on. We are dealing with a content issue -both audibly and visually. Proverbs 12:11 states: And he that followeth after vain pursuits is devoid of understanding. Black Americans have so many reasons to be proud of where we’ve come from as a people and where we are going. It is a shame that negative stereotypes seem to monopolize our reputation. Our popular music plays a strong role in why that is the case.
Exhibit A:  Got Money by Lil Wayne featuring T-Paine. *Disclaimer: I’m guilty of doing a shoulder bounce every time the beat drops…Catchy lil mother sucker.
Hook:
Got money (yeah)
And you know it
Take it out your pocket and show it (then)
Throw it 
This a way 
Thata way
This a way 
Thata way
 
Goes on:
 
 Bitch ain’t shit but a hoe and a trick
But you no one ain’t trickin? if you got it
You know we ain’t f**king if you not thick
And I cool your ass down if you think you’re hot shit
So Rolex watch this I do it 4 5 6 my click
Clack goes the black hoe pimp
And just like it I blow that shit
Cause bitch I’m the bomb like tick tick
 
Or a heavier throwback example from 1986: Boyz-n-the-Hood by Easy E

 

Bored as f*** and i wanna get ill
So I went to a place where my homeboyz chill
Niggaz out there makin’ that dolla’
I pulled up in my ’64 impala
They greet me wit a 40 and I start drinkin’
And from tha 8-ball my breath start stinkin’
Enough tah get my girl tah rock that body
Before I left i hit tha bacardi
I went to her house tah get her out of the pad
Dumb hoe said something that made me mad
She said something that I couldn’t believe
So I grabbed tha stupid bitch by her nappy-ass weave
She started talkin’ shit what did ya know
Reached back like a pimp slapped tha hoe
Her father jumped up and he started tah shout
So I bombed on pops knocked his old ass out
This song is over 30 years old, so it is not that we’re just now seeing these types of lyrics in music, it about the reach and frequency. The only positive thing I can find to say about the Eazy E song is that it’s beautiful the girl had a father in the home to try to defend her…
Look. It is proven that kids, regardless of race and socioeconomic status, imitate popular music –especially, when it comes to rap. All one has to do is look around and listen to the conversations of kids between the ages of eight and sixteen. Perhaps a possible argument would be, “Well, if it bothers you that much don’t listen to the radio,” and I don’t. The reason why all of this is relevant is because it affects our children who are internalizing these messages. More importantly, it foreshadows a significant degree of influence on the perception of how our kids will define relationships, male/female gender roles,  how girls and boys will view themselves, as well as, what they feel they should emulate as they grow up (Don’t even get me started on VH1’s reality shows…).
To be clear, this is a problem that extends beyond the Black community. It affects our future society as a whole. Some would argue that rap is the number one music genre for today’s youth, and anyone who would suggest that those messages aren’t reaching American youth is sorely mistaken.
According to the NY Times Blog, Well:

Teenagers listen to an average of nearly 2.5 hours of music per day. Guess what they’re hearing about?

One in three popular songs contains explicit references to drug or alcohol use, according to a new report in The Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine. That means kids are receiving about 35 references to substance abuse for every hour of music they listen to, the authors determined.

While songs about drugs and excess are nothing new, the issue is getting more attention because so many children now have regular access to music out of the earshot of parents. Nearly 9 out of 10 adolescents and teens have an MP3 player or a compact disc player in their bedrooms.

To present a concrete theory short of a complete overhaul in several areas to combat this issue escapes me. I have discussed this with family, friends, professors, community activists, and any solution seems to be hindered by two problems: parenting (or the lack thereof) and the high level of exposure to the lyrical content itself.
For the record, there are plenty of artists who convey real life issues in their music, and I applaud them. However more often than not, their tracks aren’t being played on the radio or at school dances. It is my hope that conscious artists like Lupe Fiasco and The Foreign Exchange will get more play time on the radio one day and more visibility in general…In the meantime, I’ll be praying for our kids, our society and the artists.

Standing and believing -Chelsea

 

Please see the following link to read the rest of the NY Times article at: Under the Influence of…Music? 

 

CHAN’S HOT LIST 7.2.12

Rap}  Good Morning  -Kanye West
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ME0batFX_WY]
Alternative Rock} Drive -Incubus 
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgT9zGkiLig]
Electronic} Walking On a Dream- Empire of the Sun
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eimgRedLkkU]
Indie Folk} Holocene- Bon Iver
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWcyIpul8OE]
Rock} Spoon- Dave Matthews Band
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaJBOciP8VM]

THROWBACK THURSDAYS WITH @YUNGCOFF 6.28.12

Throwback Jam of the Week:  A Tribe Called Quest -Electric Relaxation

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08JS5EqyBVU]

Joe ft. G-unit -Ride wit u

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Opc10syG_Ro]

Ginuwine -Stingy

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0AQyOVGvFM]

 

Lupe Fiasco -Hip-Hop Saved My Life

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPiKKfcjI-4]

 

Kings of Leon -Manhattan

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6BOO4G-jV4]

A Letter to My Younger Self: Dear Morgan

Good morning Coffey Break readers!

My friend Morgan Lynch was recently featured on youngblackandrestless.com, and was really moved by her piece, A Letter to My Younger Self: Dear Morgan. Body issues come in all sorts of packages, and I really appreciate her approach towards highlighting something that is generally overlooked, especially in the Black community.  
In my experience, I’ve seen people tip toe around people who are overweight, but without hesitation: swing a skinny girl over their shoulder, compare wrist sizes, ask them what size they wear and/or chastise them about how they need to eat more!  For anyone who’s wondering, that gets a little old… I suppose the perfect body will be a mystery until the end of time because every woman I’ve ever talked to has their own version of this dilema!
Enjoy!

Dear Morgan,

Life is beautiful and you know it. You’re sweet sixteen! Your parents have put together a sleep over, spa day, luncheon, and shopping trip that you could only dream of. You’ve had such a happy life and growing up has shown you that not everyone has been given the same gift. What could possibly plague the girl with a wonderful family, great friends, her own lavender bedroom and a huge shelf of books?

You have managed to escape the awful teenage angst that has wrecked some others. But, there is one little hang up. Your weight. You are 95 pounds soaking wet and everyone from passerby on the street to your extended family members have something to say about it. You wear blue jeans not only because they’re comfortable, but because you can’t stand another comment on your skinny legs. People’s inconsiderate word vomits on your appearance are mind blowing and it has made you self-conscious.

In the white community, thin is in. And, you hear some of your white peers obsess over the scale and their weight gain. They think you don’t have a care in the world. But, little do they know in the black community it’s all about a good ol’ boomin’ body which you DO NOT have. Big butts, thick thighs, little waists. You are invisible to the guys who whistle at the girls with these lauded attributes. And, Beyonce who soon bursts on the scene does not help. You can’t escape it, it’s everywhere. While some may hesitate saying something to bigger women, no one pauses in dropping their two cents on your unbecoming appearance. “Girl, eat some cornbread! Where is your shadow? Do you have an eating disorder?” are spouted daily. “Skinny women are evil!” the comedian Monique screams. Skinny women have feelings too, Monique.

You have battled it all of your life, and your weight even gets you into your first fight with a girl who equates petite with pushover. You are peaceful like your father, but your mother has a tendency to come out in full effect when a quick jab to her eye ends the fight quickly. People also judge your character believing that because you’re thin you must be a vapid, shallow, control freak as one person admits at a teen volunteer group. “But, you’re really not like that!” she beams as if that at all helps. You are weary with sixteen years of defending yourself, and you are blessed to have parents who quickly check anyone they hear making unwarranted remarks. When will it end?

But look! Zoe Saldana emerges in Hollywood and says “Look at me. I’m skinny, I have a big nose, no tits and no ass. But, in a room full of beautiful women, I would still leave with the most gorgeous guy.” A magazine cover with Joy Bryant speaking on her struggles with weight help you to not feel alone. These women are black, beautiful and skinny!
In fact, a breakthrough occurs. You’re sixteen and staring the in the mirror of a dressing room, lamenting in the millionth pair of jeans that drown your small frame. When it dawns upon you. Skinny black women will never be put on the pedestal, but you realize that it should not change how you feel about yourself. This body is as good as gets because one day it’s all going downhill anyway so you might as well enjoy the lightning fast metabolism. Real women have curves and real women don’t have curves. We’re all unique. And, I promise the ride will get so, so much better. You’ll discover some guys dig your narrow behind. And, a stretch mark or two is around the corner. The comments will get better. “You’re skinny, but you look really good.” It’s like people can tell the insecurity is gone.
And, let’s just throw a few other reminders in there while I’m at it. Don’t squeeze or pop pimples.  You have pretty good instincts, go with your gut. Everyone is not “doing it.” Value your alone time, it’s indispensable. Dance and sing whenever you feel like it. And, continue to surround yourself with like minded people. Different sometimes is just that. Different. And, difference is not always good for you despite what some may say. Oh, and after that dressing room debacle, tell your best friend in the whole wide world. Your mom. Because she really is your best friend as she will prove time and time again. She will call you her “beautiful, brown girl.” It will make all the difference in the world.

Love,

Morgan
Morgan  is a grad student and freelance journalist living in Boston, MA. She is currently looking for a literary agent for the YA novel she recently completed. Her timeline is smart and funny so follow her on Twitter @morgan_a_lynch